i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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