your thong is hanging out like whoa
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
