"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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