Kiss
Puke
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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