Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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