Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
