guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
