Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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