She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
