I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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