I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
