I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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