dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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