You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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