btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
