Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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