Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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