oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
