do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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