epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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