Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You left your underwear on the fireplace
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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