There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Randomize
