Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
