Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
