It was confusing and full of hummus
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
