So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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