So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
