ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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