we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
