at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
