worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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