I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize