My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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