my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
