somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Randomize
