Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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