drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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