I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
it's like heaven, but drunker
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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