Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
