dude i'm inner monologue high
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
