Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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