just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This baby is an asshole
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
