I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
