wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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