Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
