sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He? As in you personified your dick?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize