Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
