she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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