If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
