Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize