break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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