Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
