just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I puked a lego.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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