Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Can you bring me the toilet please
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
